Venice Beach was a cacophony of noise on the first weekend of spring. The sun worshippers and avid beach goers were out with a vengeance, saying goodbye to winter and hello to the constant warmth of summer. I didn’t mind the noise and large amount of people that seemed to be making their way to the shore; it made it all too easy for me to slip by undetected as I did a bit of shopping. Not that many people recognized me as I walked down the street, but it was nice to know that I didn’t have to hide behind some gaudy straw brimmed hat. Anonymity is something that I’ve missed since I became an actress. My name is Gwenyth McKracken, but everyone just calls me Gwen.
I was still some what out of my element here in Southern California only having moved out here a few years ago. I had spent my youth growing up in the very pleasant, yet very humid Savannah, Georgia. Upon moving out here though I was in for a big shock. Everyone was so forward thinking out here, something that had been frowned upon back home. It was amazing and so exhilarating at the same time. Although as time went on the glitz and glamour of Hollywood began to wear off; I started to see these people for what they really were, frauds. I wanted nothing to do with people anymore, especially anyone who was associated with them. I started taking smaller roles outside of the city in independent films. I still love acting and it’s something I want to be part of my life forever, but I never want to fall into the position where I become one of them.
I was currently investigating some of the beach shops in search of some cheap clothes. I was heading down to the Caribbean tomorrow and although I lived in LA, I was far from living the life style of the rich and the famous. So I was searching through bargain bins looking for some cute or at least salvageable clothes. I’d been able to find a few bathing suits, flip flops, and cover-ups that were pretty cheap and would work as I wore them around. I figured if I waited I might be able to find some cheaper ones down there, but I at least wanted to have a few in case I couldn’t find any upon my arrival. I was nervous since I’d never been to any of the Caribbean islands, especially during hurricane season. However my nervousness wasn’t only from that, I had never worked on a movie this large before and I didn’t want to let anyone down. Not that my parents would mind, they rarely spoke to me anymore. More than anything I just don’t want to let myself down.
Esme, my agent, was coming over later to help me pack and make sure I had everything that I would need. She was my rock in all of this mess. She had been there for me so much in the past few years and hopefully she always would. Because if she wasn’t I don’t know how I could ever repay her. I had offered to fix dinner since she was coming over and she seemed to jump at the idea. I told her I’d fix her favorite meal and she squealed into my ear. It wasn’t anything difficult it was just spaghetti, but the poor thing rarely ate carbohydrates so that she could stay shockingly thin. I had also splurged on a rather expensive bottle of wine that had been imported from Italy. Not that I was old enough to buy it mind you, but the guy behind the counter like my films so he was willing to look over the whole “age” thing.
Packing was simply a blur in my mind. Esme could pack faster than anyone I had ever seen, which is the exact reason why I always taunted her with food so that she would come over and do it. While she finished packing the clothes I had bought today I went to the kitchen to make some crepes. I loved crepes. I had become addicted to them when I spent a few weeks in Paris. The crepe stands that were spread throughout the city were too much for me to handle. Every crepe was like an orgasm in my mouth and I just could not resist. So in a lame attempt upon coming home I learned to make my own. It was the only thing I could do since the ones here in the states were NOTHING compared to the ones overseas.
In addition to the crepes, I put on a fresh pot of coffee and went to settle down in one of the bar stools. Esme joined me soon after assuring me that if there was anything else that I needed that she’d simply ship it out upon my request. She was watching over my cat Spencer while I was gone and in volunteering to do so she also put herself in charge of: stopping by the apartment daily to feed him, give him fresh water, collect my mail, pay my bills, make sure nothing got stolen, and other little odds and ends that I wouldn’t be able to do in my absence.
“How did I ever live without you?” I asked as I started spreading the strawberry jam onto my crepe.
“I’m not sure actually. It’s a bit of a mystery to me.” She winked and sat down to join me. She sensed my nervousness and I almost sliced myself open with the butter knife I had in my hand. “You’ll do fine.”
“I know and everything always seems to work out fine. You know how I am though; it’s simply in my nature to worry over every small detail.” I let out a sigh, “besides if I don’t then you will, and you’ve already got too much to worry about anyways.” This was true and Esme knew it, she was just a little reluctant to admit it. She felt that in doing so she would admit that she worked too hard or that she really wasn’t meant to be doing what she was doing. She was always concerned with her work. She compared herself to every other man in the industry and felt she had to work that much harder than each and every one of them because she had a pair of tits. I didn’t think gender mattered anymore in most work places but Esme didn’t agree with me on this.
We sat and chatted a while since we both knew it would be a long time till we were able to do it again. She double checked her packing and handed me my ticket. “Your plane leaves in at 7:00 a.m. I’m sorry it’s the only one I could get.” I hated waking early but I suppose I’d live. I would have plenty of time to relax on the plane anyways. She continued, “I’ll see you in a few months, and Gwen please be careful. I don’t need anything happening to you while you’re down there. How would I ever tell Spence?” I couldn’t help but laugh.
“I’m sure you’d be able to come up with something.” She hugged me and I escorted her to the door. I was so terrible with goodbyes, even if they weren’t permanent. As I stepped away from the door a sigh escaped my lips. What was I going to do now? It was only 11 o’clock and I rarely went to bed this early. I’d have to try wouldn’t I?
I laid down and set my alarm for 5 a.m. If this trip was going to get a good start I would have to bet the traffic to the LAX. I’d rather stick pins in the bottom of my foot than deal with a traffic jam at LAX, that place was simply a nightmare. I rolled over and before I knew what was going on I was boarding my plane on my way to Kingston, Jamaica. I grabbed the script out of my carry-on and began thumbing through the pages to learn my lines. I was so nervous and I wished more than anything that Esme was going to be with me, but she wasn’t and I was going to have to do this all on my own. I took a deep breath and lost myself in the words.